Teach Your Daughter About TRUE Love: Part 4 The Next Steps
Feb 25, 2019 | By: Jennifer Lebo
Well, there you have it!
We’ve come to the end of February, and to the end of our 4 Part Series, How To Teach Your Daughter About TRUE Love. I hope you were able to join me for the challenge, but if not, that doesn’t mean you can’t learn some lessons from it, to carry with you into the coming year.
February might be ending, but the path to self love isn’t. We can keep teaching our girls about TRUE Love long after Valentines Day.
Today I want to share a few important skills that you can carry with you into the coming months- and years. These are skills that we experimented with during our Challenge (in Week 2 of this series), which you can check out here.
FIVE STEPS TO TEACH YOUR DAUGHTER ABOUT TRUE LOVE ANY DAY OF THE YEAR
1. “WE CANNOT GIVE OUR CHILDREN WHAT WE DO NOT HAVE” -Brene´ Brown
This quote came up on Day 2 of our Challenge, as we discovered that we can’t teach our daughters about self love if we do not exemplify it for her. We need to model for our girls the behaviors and characteristics that we want them to learn.
That means self love. If we want our girls knowing the value in who they are, we need to look in the mirror and do the same thing. We need to love ourselves.
This is no easy task. In fact, it was the greatest struggle for me during the entire challenge.
Do you struggle with this, too? If so, self affirmations are a great place to start. And actually, I created a Self Love Affirmation PDF for the moms in the challenge. You can grab that PDF here.
2. WE NEED TO LEARN THE RIGHT WAY TO PRAISE
This was an eye opener for me. I thought I had this praise thing down. After all, I love to encourage and lift up all the girls in my life. But this challenge taught me about the difference between “person praise”, where we praise the talent or ability, and “process praise”, where we praise the effort. One promotes a fixed mindset, while the other promotes a growth mindset.
I think this was my favorite part of the challenge, and one I plan to keep implementing all year long, and beyond. I encourage you to take this step as often as possible.
Leave her love notes. They don’t have to be elaborate or fancy. They can be as simple as a post it note on her bathroom mirror, or a little piece of paper next to her bed when she wakes in the morning. It could be a “PS- I love you” at the bottom of an errand note, or a 2 page love letter in a card on a random Tuesday afternoon.
Just keep writing her love notes. (ps- I do this for my boys too)
4. WE MUST DO SMALL THINGS EVERYDAY
Just about everything I write about, offer, and create for moms, I do so with the idea that we are busy and already have too much on our plates. So I create resources in bite sized chunks.
This is how we need to approach the “TRUE Love Challenge” every day. Where can you find 5 minutes (or 30 seconds!) to plant a little seed? It takes only a few moments to offer a word of affirmation to the mirror each morning. It takes just a moment to point out the effort she made to try again after she crashed and burned on that project. And it takes less than a minute to write her a little love note.
Bonus points for taking an extra second to hug her- or offer the “side hug” for those teens too cool to hug.
5. SUCCESS IS MADE UP OF A MILLION FAILURES
I discovered this little nugget of truth during the final day of our TRUE Love Challenge and I know that I will carry this as a mantra for the rest of my life. I will remember it in everything I do, but most of all, I’ll remember it as I parent my daughter. Because almost every day I go to bed convinced that I screwed up.
From now on, when that thought enters my mind, I will remember that my small failures are leading to success, which in this case is a confident daughter who loves herself. So I’ll keep failing.
I would encourage you to keep failing too.
And that’s it! Five simple steps to plant seeds of self love in our daughters. We’ve got this. Let’s start today, and let’s not stop.
Next week is March, which is SENIOR MONTH for JLP! I’ll be sharing all things high school, teen girl, senior portraits, and more, and I'm so excited about it! Join me next week to learn tips about everything from the college process to planning for senior portraits! It's going to be fantastic!