Teach Your Daughter About TRUE Love: Part 3 (The Takeaways)
Feb 18, 2019 | By: Jennifer Lebo
So here we are. We have come to the other side of our TRUE Love Challenge.
(Have no idea what I'm talking about? You can read about it in Part 1, right here.)
(And if you missed the challenge, but want to try it, you can sign up to get the REPLAY right here!)
It's on this other side of our TRUE Love Challenge that I find myself coming away with several takeaways, both as a "girl mom" and as a mompreneur. I've gathered both my successes and my lessons learned to share with you here.
No failures. After all, as Nelson Mandela once said, "I never lose. I either win, or I learn."
So let me share some of my wins from this Challenge.
MY CHALLENGE WINS
1. THIS EXPERIENCE WAS A WONDERFUL CHALLENGE FOR ME PERSONALLY
Yes, I created this for the moms in my group, but I worked through it, too, and it allowed me to spend the week really considering the girls in my life. I particularly loved creating Valentines for both my daughter, and the 20 girls in my dorm. Spending time considering each one, thinking about what makes each one exceptional, unique, lovely. It was a wonderful activity and experience.
2. I WAS INSPIRED BY OTHER MOMS
Throughout the week, I heard from a number of moms who were not afraid to be vulnerable with the group, to share their own journeys. I was able to se Valentines that other moms had made. I was inspired by the habit trackers that women shared, and I loved hearing stories about how moms were connecting with their daughters. This inspired me to keep going, to never stop trying- which happened to be our task for Day 5. (Did you miss that? Don't forget to catch the replay here).
3. I DISCOVERED THAT I CAN MOVE THROUGH FEAR
One of the ways I connected with the group this week was through daily Facebook Live videos. I really hate doing those. They play right into all of my insecurities, and they make me feel exposed and vulnerable, which is scary. But I knew this would be a helpful way to reach moms each day, so I fought through my fear and recorded each day. Thankfully, the only real disaster was on Day 1, when my fur baby labradoodle decided to bark his head off for a while.
But I survived! Heck, I even grew comfortable enough to do two of the videos in my workout clothes! I took a risk, allowed myself to work through fear and uncertainty, and came out the other side. This was a big win for me.
Which leads me to the lessons I learned...
MY LESSONS LEARNED
1. MOMS ARE BUSY, AND DESPITE GOOD INTENTIONS, IT'S HARD TO SHOW UP- AND THAT'S OK
Online challenges- especially free ones that carry little risk or consequence- can be hard to follow through with. Moms are already so busy. It's hard to add anything new to our already packed schedules. Add to that unscheduled illnesses, new appointments, or teen drama, and our good intentions sometimes have to take a back seat.
This could have felt like a failure to me- very few moms showed up every day with me. But instead of feeling failure, I was reminded of the journey we moms take everyday, and I was actually excited to realize that moms could use some help with this, too. This feels big to me, because I can help with that. And I will. I'm working on a new project as I write.
2. YOUNG TEENS ARE SO DIFFERENT FROM OLDER TEENS
I learned this specific lesson on Valentines Day, when my daughter's reaction to my Valentine differed from some of my dorm girls' reactions. My own daughter, and a few of the younger girls in the dorm received my Valentine with sincerity, trust, and joy. They accepted it with gratitude and loved their Valentines. Some of the older girls had a different reaction. There was some silence, a few not so subtle expressions exchanged between them, and even an eye roll or two.
Both reactions were fine with me. While I loved the joyful reactions, I was ok with the silence and even the eye roll. I wasn't offering the gesture for praise or thanks. I simply wanted to plant the seeds. And deep down, I was ok with the eye rolls, because it meant they had read the Valentine. Seeds planted.
I did learn, though, to anticipate the eye roll from my young daughter. In fact, it's already begun. I'm sure it will happen more and more often with each passing year. And it will be ok. My job is to just never stop trying.
3. FAILURE SHOULD NOT ONLY BE EXPECTED BUT INVITED
This lesson was a powerful one, both as a mother and a mompreneur. The only way that we can know that we are truly alive is to keep trying new things, and to keep taking risks. And with risk comes failure. And so we fail, and then we fail again, but maybe we fail a little better the next time. The point is that we keep moving forward. This is true when it comes to parenting, and in every other path we choose to take.
Success, after all, is made up of a million failures.
So now I ask you, what did you learn by doing this challenge with me?
And if you didn't complete the challenge, what challenges did you face this week? What did they teach you?
And what now? What do we do next, now that our Five Day Challenge is over? What can we do to continue teaching our daughters about self love?
I'll answer those questions with tangible steps in the final post of our 4 Part February series. See you then!